I dated for years, then I studied why it kept stalling.
I have been using dating apps for years, and I found amazing people. I even had real relationships come out of them. But not anymore. Over the past two years of actively dating, I found the pain points. First and foremost, the conversations are always dry. Some people are fun to talk to for hours in person, but it just doesn't translate. So I did my research. Because of working in a lab for years, my brain is wired with numbers, hypotheses, and facts, so I looked at the problem using a scientific approach.
Niloofar, founder of Gereh
Show your full self
I observed how, in different messaging apps, you can show your full self better when the app gives you the right tools. The messaging apps I love let you send a GIF, a sticker, a voice note, a quick reaction, a reply, and let you edit or delete when you fumble. Most dating apps gatekeep all of that for a fake sense of safety. I wanted every one of those tools AND a genuinely safe space, so Gereh empowers you instead of locking you down.
So I made games
But why can an in-person conversation with a stranger go so well, yet in a chat you don't know what to say? Over time, you get tired of answering the same questions. In person you have shared context, but over chat you just answer the same things over and over: how was your weekend, what do you do, what's your favorite book, movie, cafe. Fun the first time, who doesn't like to blabber about themselves? But not over and over; we hate repetition. So we need icebreakers. Duh, every dating app has thought about that, but they just give you random, generalized ones. I wanted a different experience every time you talk to a different person, so you actually create memories, because novelty is what makes something memorable. So I created games. My all-time favorite is the AI trivia: the questions are generated from your profiles, and you test each other on how much you actually paid attention.
Know your own flaws first
As I was doing market validation and interviewing people, most were complaining about not having a real connection. But what is a real connection? It's hard to put into words. If I had to define it, I would say two people with shared vulnerabilities and emotional understanding. They want to be seen and heard and accepted for who they are. And vulnerability is sharing your flaws without the fear of judgment. So again I did my research. For that, first you have to know your own flaws and accept them without judging yourself. So I made real, legit assessments available to everyone, instead of leaving them gated behind fancy words and jargon. The internet is full of BuzzFeed tests, MBTI, and astrology, which is the proof that people love to know about themselves and use whatever they can find. So why not make the legit ones accessible?
Self-reflection, not a diagnosis.
No more mind reading
Then I added a tool so people can, with consent, compare their assessment reports. I wrote the whole report in a way that doesn't shame anyone. It just gives you the power to communicate your differences. When you know that someone does something and it's not about you, you understand them better. The anxiety of mind reading and second-guessing is gone.
